By Farooq Kperogi, Ph.D. Twitter: @farooqkperogi Several people have pointed out that the legislative branch of government is the on...
By Farooq Kperogi,
Ph.D.
Twitter:
@farooqkperogi
Several people have pointed out that the legislative branch
of government is the only institution that sets (liberal) democracy apart from
dictatorship. In other words, since all systems of government, including totalitarianism,
always have executive and judicial branches, it is precisely the presence of
the legislative branch that gives liberal democracy its singularity. Yet, in a
cruel irony, the legislature is the least desirable and most pernicious branch
of government in Nigeria’s experience with liberal democracy.
You only need to look at the current cast of debauched and
flippant know nothings in Nigeria’s Senate to understand this. Apart from being
a thumping drain on the national treasury—with absolutely nothing to show for
it—the senate has lately transformed itself into a depressing theatre of the
absurd.
On March 2, for instance, Dino Melaye, Senate Committee Chairman
on the Federal Capital Territory, while commenting on the need for Nigerians to buy “made-in-Nigeria goods” said, “It
is beyond having one made in Nigeria attire and having over 70 designers’
attires in your wardrobe. We must reduce the allocation for made-in-Nigeria
goods and services to the basics….We will also move in order to encourage
made-in-Nigeria products and begin to talk about made-in-Nigeria women.
Apologies to my uncle, the Governor of Edo State, we must as a people stop
paying dowries in dollars and pounds. It is time for my colleagues here to
become born again.”
It isn’t just the mindless buffoonery of the statement that
is appalling; it is also the literal dehumanization and commodification of
women it evinces. How can anyone, not least a senator, talk of women, “goods
and services,” and “products” in the same sentence— in the 21st
century?
But it got even worse. On March 8, Senate Leader Ali Ndume
requested the Senate to make it mandatory for Nigerian men to marry more than one wife to demonstrate
their “care” for women. When I read it I initially thought it was a joke; I
thought it was another Nigerian humorous spin on the wild Internet hoax that
claimed Eritrea had mandated all men to marry more than one wife or risk going
to jail. But it was real.
The astonishing frivolity of the issues that now dominate
Senate “deliberations” recalls an article I wrote on August 1, 2015 titled “Urgent
Need for ‘Braintashi’ in the National Assembly.” Read below a slightly
abridged version of the article. It is as relevant today as it was almost a
year ago.
“Excuse the vulgarity and prurience of my choice of words,
but most Nigerians are familiar with the local Hausa herbal aphrodisiac called
“bura tashi,” which literally means “male private part, wake up.” Well,
Nigeria’s National Assembly members need “braintashi,” my coinage for a
stimulant that wakes the brain up.
“From the outside looking in, the vast majority of National
Assembly members come across as brain-dead, monomaniacally mercantile
knuckleheads who have no business being in the business of lawmaking. This is a
regrettable thing to say because there are a few truly honorable, clear-headed
men and women in the National Assembly. But it’s difficult to ignore the huge
joke that the National Assembly has become.
“If National Assembly members are not exchanging fisticuffs
over inanities—like hyperactive, ill-bred high-school kids—they are arguing
interminably over unearned perks and over who chairs cushy, “juicy” committees
or leadership positions. If they are
doing none of the above, they are luxuriating in sybaritic lavishness. The
other day, the Speaker of the House of Representatives admitted to spending
millions of naira to charter a private airplane to fly to a community in Delta
State to “commission” a church.
“Perhaps the lowest water mark yet in the show of
brainlessness by the National Assembly happened a few days ago when 5 senators
and 20 members of the House of Representatives constituted themselves into an
ad hoc committee of bodyguards around Mrs. Toyin Saraki when she was invited by
the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to answer questions over
allegations of corruption against her. I
can’t wrap my head around why 25 full-grown members of the National Assembly
feel the need to serve as shields to the wife of a Senate President who has
been accused of corruption.
“Although I am being
facetious when I say the National Assembly needs an overabundant supply of
‘braintashi,’ I am truly concerned that the National Assembly is fast earning
notoriety as the place where brains die, as the graveyard of commonsense. The other day, Senator Shehu Sani, who rose
to prominence on the notion that he is a human rights activist, a defender of
the poor, and an advocate for due process, said police had no business
investigating allegations of forgery against Senate leaders. 'The forgery
problem is not the issue of police but the issue of the senate,” he said. ”I got
elected on the 8th senate. I was provided with document that I used; whether
that document was forged, I cannot affirm.'
“What was Senator Sani thinking when he said that? Forgery
is a crime. Why should people who are accused of a crime be left to sit in
judgment over their own wrongdoing? The forgery allegation may well turn out to
be false or intentionally hyperbolized for political reasons, but only a proper
police investigation can prove this.
“Again, Senator Dino Melaye who touted himself as an anti-corruption
crusader and who rode on the crest of the BringBackOurGirls movement to
political reckoning was among National Assembly members who formed a committee
of bodyguards around the senate president’s wife when she was invited by the
EFCC over allegations of money laundering.
“The infantilism, indolence, and moral and intellectual
degeneracy of the National Assembly are some of the biggest pieces of evidence,
if any is needed, that we don’t need a full-time bi-camera legislature in
Nigeria.”
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